A toilet birth is kind of like a water birth, right?

11/21/2016

I should start this entry with the knowing that I was 41 weeks plus 5 days when I finally went into labor with Thomas.
With my previous 2 births and babies I hadn't gone more than a couple days past my due date. As a doula, I knew it was normal to go to 41 or even 42 weeks but I never imagined it would happen to me... and I was absolutely miserable in those last couple weeks! I was ready to have my baby, physically and emotionally!

I had my membranes stripped at 41+4 weeks to avoid a chemical/pitocin induction at 42 weeks. Some practices will allow you to go past 42 weeks. My midwives group was not one of them... and I was okay with that.

Labor began in the middle of the night and I remember thinking, ''I don't want to do this right now. I need more sleep.''
So I went to the bathroom and back to sleep.

I woke up again around 5am, too uncomfortable to go back to sleep...
I got out of bed, everyone in my house still sleeping and I started timing contractions and bouncing/rolling on the ball..
Contractions were getting longer, stronger and closer together!
This was it! I knew I was going to have a baby soon.

I alerted my doulas and midwife that today would be the day and even called my father in law to come watch my older children.

Around 7am, my older children woke up and my contractions all but stopped. I was so frustrated! I called off my support team and father in law and told them that I would let them know if I needed them at all later that day.

I knew that my oxytocin flow (the hormone of love, labor and lactation) was being restricted by the responsibilities of taking care of my older 2 children.

I woke up their Dad, Nate, and locked myself in my bedroom, rocking on the ball and things picked back up..

Nate stayed home from work and helped keep the kids at bay while I spent my time in the bedroom watching TED talks and listening to music. They came back to check on me every so often and brought me food and drinks.
I had their support and presence in a way that I didn't have to give my full attention and could dive back into contractions as they came..

Contractions were 7-10 minutes apart most of the day, gaining intensity as time went on.
My contractions felt like radiating cramps...They would start lowww in my uterus/belly and build or radiate upwards. They were like waves. I could see one coming, feel it building...and then it would peek.... and subside. I would always get a break in between where I felt normal.

I was moaning at the peak of each contraction and even crying with a few.
Around 1 or 2pm, contractions were strong enough, long enough and close enough that I called one of my doulas and best friends, Laura, to come support me.
Around that same time, I told Nate to call his Dad to come watch the kids.
Laura arrived and her pushing and massaging my back was like magic. It felt so good and took away some of the pain and I needed her physical support with every contraction. Nate was there too and he was getting our bags in the car and getting the kids settled.

Around 3pm, I was crying and feeling like I couldn't do this much longer. I knew it was time to head to the hospital.

My doula called my other doula to meet us at the hospital and I called my midwife to let her know we were headed that way.

I should note that I had been checking myself for dilation throughout my late pregnancy and in labor. I knew that pre-labor I was 1-2cm and in early labor (that morning) I was around 4cm.
Before we left, I checked myself and could tell I was around 6cm dilated and could feel the bulging amniotic sac/bag of waters.

During the drive, I asked Nate to tell me that he loved me, that I could do this and that it wouldn't last forever. I needed his voice and affirmations with every contraction and I was frustrated and yelled for him to please talk to me if he didn't say anything. I kept rolling down the window, moaning as I needed to ...
Feeling the cool wind and rain on my face was so helpful.

My other doula, Lindy, met us at the doors with a wheelchair and
I pushed it all the way up to to L&D. My midwife had everything set up so that I didn't have to stop at triage and I practically jumped in the shower as soon as we got there.
My doulas were were providing counter-pressure on my back and Nate was telling me that I could do this with every contraction.
Their support made all the difference in the world.

Erin, my midwife, used the doppler to check on the baby without hooking me up to any straps or monitors and I got out of the shower to quickly get my saline lock (an alternative to the IV) and to be checked. She checked my cervix quickly and and said there was ''just a rim''... so a little bit of cervix left and 9-10cm.
My water broke a minute or two after being checked.

I went to the toilet, reached in to check myself again and I could feel that rim of cervix my midwife had mentioned and.. a head!!
I could feel squishy head and hair... this was so encouraging and my body was pushing!

Lindy asked if I was pushing and I said, ''Let's not talk about it.''
Someone noted that I definitely was pushing (on the toilet) and I think I said, ''The baby is coming..''
A nurse reached over me and pulled the ''emergency'' string so hard that it came out of the wall. My midwife was right there. It was not an emergency and my birth team was so calm and responsive.
Someone put a pillow on the toilet and my midwife helped me as the baby came out and up to my chest.
Thomas was born at 4:37pm. 45 minutes after walking into the hospital.

This birth was absolutely incredible but I have to say, I only had such a birth because everything went just so right... My health and Thomas' health were my top priority and if anything needed to change, I would have done things differently.
Birth is, across the board, intense and unpredictable.
All of the knowledge I had gained in my previous births ... and the countless births I'd attended as a doula between my second birth and this birth... I knew that I wanted to be surrounded by loving support.
I saw how important it was to choose a care provider that was in alignment with what I wanted., I knew that I needed to feel safe and supported to labor at home as long as I needed to ... and to not have a ton of vaginal exams or IVs/medical support unless necessary. I knew that I wanted Nate to tell me he loved me throughout my birth...and that counterpressure could feel so amazing.
Each birth teaches us something knew. I'm so fortunate that I had been to 100+ births that each taught me so much.

No matter how you birth, where or when you birth... know that you too are absolutely incredible... brave and strong!!

Here is Thomas now, 1 year later!

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My Initiation into Motherhood

The Birth that Inspired Me to Become a Doula

Molly Murray

Molly Murray is a Cincinnati Birth Doula, Childbirth and Parenting Mentor, Placenta Specialist and the owner and founder of the Cincinnati Birth & Parenting Network

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